“Yeah, yeah, welcome to Korvosa, the ‘gem’ of Varisia, or some toss like that. Well, some o’ the fancy pants Lords live over on the East Shore. Right along side a lot of the military folk. Marchin’ around all over. Left foot, right foot, yessir! Don’t forget to polish your bollocks! To the hells with the like of them anyways.

Then you got the Grey Quarter, which is to say Korvosa’s grave yard. Good lads like me aint gonna be buried in no Grey Quarter, its for the East Shore knob heads, and those pricks from The Heights.

Speakin of which, The Heights is where the most powerful citizens in Korvosa live. Lads like me aint even aloud to walk the street in the Heights. Those prim and proper slags might just soil their silky pantaloons! Innit a shame!

What now? Oh yeah, then you got the Midland. Shops, merchants, and financial shite. Its the Korvosa people want you to think about. A right proper picture card. Keep your coinpurse where you can see it, yeah? Tons of city watchmen and Sable Company Marines walkin round. Bunch of flyin horse arseholes.

Then you got old town, Old Korvosa. Which like the name says, its the oldest part of town. Oh, also the poorest. Oh and also the fullest. Lotta urchins like me cut our teeth in old town. Its mostly safe, cause we pick pockets in the Midlands, yeah?

Then you got the Shingles. When you can’t build out, you build up, yeah? Me and a lot of other good lads and slags live in the Shingles. Good place to lose a tail from the city guard if you know what I mean. We watch out for our own and make sure mums stay fed and all that good toss. Eat, rest up, take a quick tumble with your lady, then back at it, yeah?

South Shore? That shite is too new and I aint been there yet. Then you got the Vaults, which fancy folk call the sewer. Leave it at this, there are folks down there, and you don’t want any part of it, best you just stay out.

That’s it. Tour is over, I ain’t got all day. That’ll be 5 copper pieces, an ale, and two skewers of those ‘dock dumplings.’ Best tour you gonna find for under a silver. Pay up, ya git!"

Ketter, a twelve year old street urchin and self proclaimed tour guide. One of Lamm’s Lambs.